Welcome To

ANTIDOC

A Null Technically Inaccurate
Dictionary Of Computing

Copyright © 2006 Contributors to ANTIDOC

Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2 or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation; with no Invariant Sections, no Front-Cover Texts, and no Back-Cover Texts. A copy of the license is included in the section entitled "FreeDocumentationLicense".

ANTIDOC is a spoof of FOLDOC.

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B

BSD

1. A family of operating systems, chiefly FreeBSD, NetBSD and OpenBSD, but also including DragonFly BSD and MirOS BSD, which is completely different from GNU/Linux and has no relationship with GNU or copyleft. The letters "BSD" refer to "big, slow distribution" to scare away GNU. The BSD community represents those few users who resist the GNU virus. BSD does not support GNU software nor viral licensing, nor will it ever.

BSD is dying

1. A rallying cry for the BSD community. Someone will yell, "BSD is dying" and in response the community will donate funds for surgery. The surgery often requires of begging the Linux community for documentation.

Chronic Pain

#Living with an undiagnosed illness
http://www.undiagnosedillness.org
Share your personal stories and experiences

BSD is dying and becoming a zombie

1. An accusation by the GNU community that the BSD operating systems intend to destroy themselves and the world. See zombie. Resist the zombie of BSD; copyleft your software!
2. A threat that the BSD community uses to scary away GNU.
3. A nonsensical statement, for how can one die and become a zombie simultaneously? One must do the first, then the second; BSD is dying and will become a zombie, or BSD died and is becoming a zombie.

E

Embrace and extend

1. The process of adopting an abandoned software project and programming new features for it. Hackers constantly roam project hosts like SourceForge, Berlios and Gna!, embracing and extending dead projects.

F

Free software

1. Computer programs comissioned by a legislature representing the people. The motto for this process is "Free as in liberal democracy!" Free software exists because the alternative is immoral. Free software is superior to "Free as in beer" software produced by drunk hackers drinking beer at the hack-a-thon. Abstain from alcohol; support free software!
2. Computer programs with origin in any country being a member state of the The Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe or the Organisation of the Islamic Conference.

G

GNU

1. An operating system that strives to be unlike Unix. The initials appropriately mean "Gnu's Not Unix". For example, GNU requires pressing C-x C-s to save and C-x C-c to quit, while Unix does not. GNU features a Unix compatibility environment that embraces and extends Unix, so that users like the new features and do not switch back to Unix.

I

IRC

1. A network chat protocol that works by having users change their names to communicate information. IRC is difficult to learn, but smart chatters remember who they are actually talking to. A common mistake is to forget to change your name back to normal before exitting IRC. This has consequences. Most famously, in IPAA v. I have put these ROMs on FTP, the judge accepted that defendant I have put these ROMs on FTP's name could be used as evidence that defendant broke copyrights and distributed ROMs of certain arcade and console games.

J

Java

1. A beverage popular among JavaScript hackers.
2. A propoganda campaign to convince the world that there are only three operating systems: GNU/Linux, Solaris and Windows. Sun Microsystems started this campaign to distract from the fact that they released their "Java 1.2" product at 8 December 1998, but Macintosh users had to wait three years before they could use it.

JavaScript

1. A powerful scripting language that supports scalars, arrays and hashes. Its rising popularity contributes to it replacing Perl and Tcl in many situations, especially when writing scripts (such as Tetris) for web browsers.

L

Leet

1. A contraction of "let's eat", commonly used in IRC chat rooms. Examples are "Leet food!" "Leet pizza!" "Leet the newbies!"

M

Monster

1. Any living thing. "Have you met the monster who wrote this source code?"

N

Newbie

1. Literally a "new B", a spawn of any bat or bird monster in the computer game NetHack. The uppercase letter B represents bats or birds onscreen. Newbies have a strong attack but little health, so most players kill them quickly. Newbies are a common source of deaths for inexperienced players lacking offensive capability. Eating a newbie corpse causes you to lose your directions.
2. A harpy in the computer game Oberin. The main difference from NetHack is that harpies lack a strong attack. What causes problems for players is when an almost-dead harpy flees the scene of battle, causing the player to give chase, only to encounter some difficult monster. Most Oberin players are smart enough to cook their newbie corpses before eating them.

P

PBwiki

1. A wiki-farm that will give anyone a free wiki but then tries to distract them into eating peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches instead of editing the wiki. The result of this is many wikis with few or no pages.

R

RRLLUDUDAB

1. A secret code in the computer game NetHack. Using this code, you can obtain an amulet of life saving. This is really the only way to win the game, though some players have attempted an rrllududabless conduct.

ANTIDOC strives to be a technically inaccurate resource. Therefore, it will provide full instructions for using this code. Basically, the key sequence is "rrllududab" but you will need to make certain preparations for the code to work. First, #adjust any scroll (preferably a benign one such as a scroll of treasure detection) into inventory slot r, and any two items (not a loadstone nor worn item nor cursed wielded weapon and preferably not a scroll of scare monster) into slots u and a. If you play with the numpad, disable that option and switch to vi-keys. Now make sure that the two squares to your east, and the square three east and one north, are open, for example:

....
@...

Now type the code. You should read the scroll, move two squares east, move one square northeast, drop the two items, and move back southwest. The amulet of life saving will be at the next dungeon level. May you ascend.

Z

Zombie

1. A computer program that restarts itself after exitting, then slowly kills other programs, only to transform them into other zombies, which slowly take over your computer. It is good practice to reboot your computer frequently, at least once every day. Reboots purge your computer of any zombies.

Once, there was a large but sparsely used computer lab. Unknown to the lab's occasional users, the workstation in the far corner had a zombie. The zombie was a mail reader that exited one decade ago. In the span of nine years, this zombie attacked system processes and took over the entire workstation. In larger numbers, it took these zombies only three months to conquer the entire computer lab. By then, no person ever visited the lab, for everyone had laptops.

Then, following our story, a horrible thing happened. Several zombies pounced on the workstation in the next room. Given the large quantity of zombies and the higher processor speed of this newer workstation, most programs fell after only 30 minutes. Yet the bored sysadmin simply ignored all those windows disappearing from the screen. Finally the IRC client died and became a zombie, and as if awoken from sleep, the sysadmin suddenly noticed in horror what had happened. Unable to reboot the computer (for that program had died too), the sysadmin paniced and pulled the power cable. An electric shock slayed the sysadmin.

Then came an improbable case of inter-species infection. The dead body of the sysadmin rose and stood, as a human zombie. It went to a nearby graveyard and raised an army of human zombies. The remainder of this story is well-known; the zombies fell on the region, and thus began a major disaster.

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